I was very fortunate to receive an ARC of A Private Man by Stephanie Sy-Quia from NetGalley and Grove Atlantic, because wow. I have a lot to say about this one.
This is a debut novel, but Sy-Quia is already an award-winning poet. That definitely comes across in the novel, because the prose is some of the best I’ve ever read.
Without further ado…
The premise
An exquisite slow-burn forbidden love story, laced with passion and faith.
Rome, 1953. David is young, handsome, charismatic and sworn to celibacy. He is freshly ordained, and about to return to England to begin life as a priest. Devotion to God is all he’s ever known.
In London, Margaret is entangled in an impossible love affair. Committed to living on her own terms without sacrificing her faith, she becomes drawn to a women’s movement challenging the archaic rules of the Church.
When their lives are thrown together at a Catholic college in a quiet village, an undeniable connection forms between them. And so begins a story of forbidden love, sacrifice and secrets, with consequences that will reverberate across the generations.
Stephanie Sy-Quia’s A Private Man is a stunning story of devotion and sacrifice, and of the consequences of our actions that ripple throughout generations.
At a glance
📖 Pages: 288
🗣️ Language: English
📚 Publisher: Grove Atlantic
📅 Publication date: 19 February 2026 (at the time of writing)
⏳ Time taken to read book: ~6 hours
My spoiler-free review of A Private Man
I come from a staunchly Catholic family, and Catholicism is something that has brought my family both comfort and pain, depending which side of the family you ask. It’s a religion that I’ve seen offer those I love belonging and peace, but I’ve also seen it’s teachings tear segments of my family apart.
I myself am a believer, but I can’t get past the harm that the strict following of the teachings can cause so many. Because of that, I was instantly intrigued by the premise of A Private Man.
The novel follows David, a newly ordained priest, and Margaret, a woman drawn to faith yet questioning Catholic theology.
The skin of experience glimmered over her like fur, she slunk in it and sometimes seemed to taunt him with it.
Raised Catholic, David appears to initially enter the priesthood partly as a form of atonement for his role in the war, having fought for the side responsible for the atrocities at Hiroshima and Nagasaki. As an adult, he is deeply committed to his oath to God and his vow of celibacy, yet he longs for intimacy and connection, something he struggles even to admit to himself. This internal conflict is written beautifully.
Margaret is similarly lonely. In the past timeline, we meet her as she enters and leaves a love affair with a married man. She is also a believer, but far more socially progressive than the general population, and her relationship to faith is defined by questioning and analysing it, rather than blind obedience.
When David and Margaret meet, their connection is immediate. Margaret brings to the fore everything David has been suppressing, and I loved watching them debate, prompting each other to think differently, and more deeply, about their religion. Together, they find different ways of helping people, David through his sermons and Margaret through assisting abused women/women with unwanted pregnancies. Throughout their time at the college and thereafter, the progression of their feelings for one another was both moving and utterly believable.
He wondered at that cloistered intimacy; to have a woman’s arms around you, and her legs around you, and her hair falling all around like a thing to keep you safe and unseen.
He swept the thought aside.
Despite his growing feelings, David’s faith is such an integral part of his identity that he doesn’t know if loving and being loved by someone will be enough to fill the void he’ll be left with should he abandon it. The tension between a higher calling and personal desire was one of the most powerful aspects of the book.
The ending was very strong, both hopeful and heartbreaking, and as a result, realistic.
I did feel I understood David much more than I did Margaret, hence why I have much more to say on him. I would’ve liked to see her story fleshed out a little further, in particular around her work with the women, as it was compelling. Still, I liked her. My only real issue is that, despite the blurb promising that the story would explore “consequences [of the forbidden love] that will reverberate across the generations”, the contemporary timeline didn’t land for me. It wasn’t boring, but I struggled to see how it served the story. Yes, it did show the end result of these consequences, but I think the emotional impact would’ve landed harder had we seen them play out in the 1950/60s timeline instead, as they were only touched on very briefly.
Final thoughts on A Private Man by Stephanie Sy-Quia
This is a debut novel, and this new author is most definitely one to watch. I loved this book overall, and her prose is some of the best I’ve ever read.
I think readers who enjoy deeply introspective and character-driven stories about faith and sacrifice and forbidden love will likely love this. I loved the characters so I didn’t find this book slow at all, but it might not work as well for readers who prefer fast-paced or plot-heavy novels.
★★★★★
Rating: 4.5/5
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